I don't know what's wrong with me today. I have cried twice this morning, and everyone is just making me mad. Every little thing is getting to me, and all I want to do is crawl in bed and stay there forever. I'm stressed out about everything. Money, TTC, work, EVERYTHING.
I can NOT seep back into my depressed, sad state. I can't do it. I am trying so hard not to. I know that if I do, I will screw everything up that is going good in my life--work, Scott, family, etc. That's what always happens. I get depressed and everything/everyone in my life suffers.
I can't even really get out into words what is going on in my brain. I just want to curl up in a blanket, and go back and forth between sleeping and crying myself to sleep. Why doesn't anything ever go smoothly for me?? Why couldn't I have been one of those people who can just carry their babies without any trouble? And why can't I just get a freakin BFP now?!
I'm 12dpo, and I'm sure that AF is coming any day now. I just know it.
I know it, and it pisses me off.
Maybe I should just give up on all this. Just give up, and allow myself to be everyone's favorite aunt, and nothing more. I want to scream.. oh, and throw things. At the wall, at the window, at people's heads... you name it, I want to throw something at it.
Sorry. I'll quite whining.
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2 comments:
Hey Cassie- hope you are doing ok....I have been away a bit, but know you are not alone. I feel and have felt all of your emotions....it sucks! but I am raying for you, our time will come!
Hi, I'm just sending you hugs and prayers. Your time will come!
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